I am a blithering, helpless mess, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Today my grief had taken me by storm, starting with my full frontal confrontation with school vs. work. There’s so much that I want to do, so much I know I can do. I want to go to school full time and work a part time job, instead of going to school and working full time. I want to feel like I’m actually moving TOWARD my dreams, instead of farther away.

I want to act.
This burning desire will not fade, no matter what else comes up. Photography, teaching, language.
I want to act.

And today I’m brave enough to admit that this dream just won’t die.
And today I received words from one source of encouragement in which I cannot take them to be just words. And now I’m a sobbing mess. But I feel good. I’m strong enough today to tell my father that you don’t support me, and you don’t love me, and I’ve had enough. Today I am strong enough to look at my faults and embrace them, willing to change and move forward.

Today I am strong enough.