You look of everything any woman has ever wanted in her life and when I bite down on your existence pain, suffering, and brutal honesty bleed through. I love the way life looks through your eyes even if it’s battered, bleak, and hopeless, because it’s honest. You are honest with yourself and your faults and what they have lead you to believe.

I said religions have life after death in common. Nirvana. Heaven. Reincarnation.
You said religion was created to prevent the people from falling into despair.

And I, lacking religion, lacking faith, I despair. Because I know we are all going to die, and fade, and be forgotten. There is no afterlife. No rebirth. Everything just stops. My consciousness will cease to exist, and none of this will ever have mattered. And if I’m wrong, then our vain God knew the moment he created me that I would feel the way I do and make this choice and that I would spend eternity in Hell for it. And that’s conditional love that I would rather spit on than embrace. And I think I would rather spend an eternity somewhere than nowhere at all. But if I’m right, then what does it all matter? Why wait? The point is I recognize this truth and still I stand and still I strive to get everything done I want- I will write my books, I will compose music, I will dance, I will sing, and I will learn other languages. I will I will I will. And then I just won’t, anymore. Ever again.

Someone prove me wrong.
I don’t want to fade and be forgotten.

Do you despair?