This is Love
( my brachiosaurus hand likes your stegosaurus hand )
Last night I woke quite suddenly from dreaming because our breathing was in rhythm with each other. I laid there for a second, wondering if my awarness of it would make it stop. But there it was, perfect: his back expanding against my chest. Breathe in, breathe out.
“Jei,” I said, “Jei, wake up.”
“Ugh…wg..?”
“We are in sync with each other while we’re sleeping .”
Poor boy was trying to sleep, “I don’t understand?”
“Our breathing matches.”
“But doesn’t it always?”
How does one continue writing after opening such a Pandora’s Box? I am one-hundred percent, shocked, moved, and startled by all of your responses. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could reach out and help all of you the way you deserve, but I have no way of reaching out to you- I don’t know who you are. I am going to continue writing, but I wanted to wait, giving everyone the opportunity to respond. After three days and eighty-eight responses, I feel we can move forward together. But I wanted to say two things before we do:
There are several readers out there who posted some pretty heavy secrets, things that have apparently been weighing down on you for quite some time. If you need help, please, take advantage of the listeners far more knowledgeable and trained than I. It’s free, confidential, and can help you move forward.
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-273-TALK (A Confidential Hotline)
1.800.656.HOPE (The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
You are all beautiful, bold, and brave for sharing what you did and responding to each other by reaching out with words of comfort, understanding, and similarities. Some secrets made me smile while others drove me to tears, and even some that left me breathless. I love you all.
Thank you.
Cheers, cats.
So my stalker that I’ve mentioned a few times has been randomly messaging my boyfriend trying to initiate conversation and it’s making him really uncomfortable? Uh, HELLO. You stalked me? Accused me of stealing your life? Why on earth do you think he’d want to talk to you? So I messaged her this morning:
(8:08:12 AM) trailingtwilight: Respect that you and I will have nothing to do with each other and please stop messaging Jei.
(8:09:04 AM) trailingtwilight: I’m not messaging Sam. I’m not involved in your life at all, so please respect that and do the same.
(8:10:07 AM) trailingtwilight: Especially if four months ago you can say you and Jei were never friends.
(8:10:11 AM) trailingtwilight: Thank you.
(8:10:32 AM) trailingtwilight: Have a nice day.
As I got ready to close the window I realized I suddenly had a warning level of 10. I laughed out loud. She wasn’t away from her computer and unable to respond at all, she just chose to act like a twelve year old. Per usual. But then Tyler told me she was on him all day harping about it. And here I thought we could have a civilized conversation. I guess I forgot who I was dealing with.
