Okay, I was totally okay with this until I talked to Riley about it, and now he’s made me freak out. I bought this ring today. I didn’t plan on it; it sort of just happened. I passed the display case, spun it around a little, and I saw it. It’s almost everything the opposite of what I have now, and I’ve been wearing the other one since 8th grade. First of all, it’s gold, not silver, and it’s not sapphire. But it is topaz, which is significant to me, (yellow and orange is, not the actual stone) and it just appealed to me. Before you freak, I should also note it was only $8. I decided I liked it and it would serve as sort of a promise ring type thing because I’m so girly and that’s so romantic to me. (But Riley’s saying that it looks like an engagement ring and that scares me and now I’m freaking out.)

My camera makes it look a lot more sparkley and badass than it really is. I mean, right? If it was a silver band and blue sapphire then maybe it might be a little scary but it’s just something for me, right? I mean, he didn’t buy it for me, and I don’t plan on bringing it up or anything stupid. Like, look at this ‘promise ring’ I snagged? I mean, that’s just dumb. I’m not expecting anything like that, and I certainly don’t want to terrify him, I’m just doing it for myself. It’s even on my right hand. As a reminder for me of the important choice I made. And that I’m in love.

EDIT: Okay, so I talked to another sane boy about it and he said that it can be kind of scary for guys to see that sort of thing. So I don’t plan on bringing it up. I did it because I’m girly and romantic and really silly. But I mean, I was already wearing a ring there, and now I’m really only swapping it for a different one, I doubt it will be noticable. It’s significant to me and that’s what matters. I’m waiting, in all my toe tingling madness, for this boy.

Also, the camera REALLY makes it look amazing. And I just slapped my hand down on my desk and had my desk lamp on. I love this camera. Except when it causes undesired panic.

I’ll be okay.

I’m sort of messed up right now. Probably more so than I’d like to admit, actually. I’m having a hard time sleeping and dealing with things, so maybe I just had a moment and bought something useless. But at least it was only eight dollars. And it feels right. It feels so totally wonderful.

Sorry this was way fucking longer than it needed to be.