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I wasn’t feeling well and I remember getting up to get a glass of water. I remember stretching on my tippy toes to see if I could reach a plastic cup. But I was too tired to keep stretching so I settled for the glass on the bottom shelf. I stood infront of the refrigerator and wondered if I wanted milk or water. Then I remember deciding I wanted ice. And then the next thing I remember is Tyler holding me and stroking my hair. And then I realized how much pain I was in. And that I was lying in glass. And I guess the site of the glass made my leg sting and I realized how much it hurt. I do not remember falling. I do not remember the glass crushing under my body. But I do remember crying when I woke, shaking, asking for Jei and my mom while holding onto Tyler like he was the only real substance in my life at that moment. The only thing that could keep me steady. I was scared.





I rode in the ambulance the entire way there, they plugged my arm with an IV, and when they wheeled me down halls to the emergency room Tyler was still there holding my hand. My mother was waiting next to the open door of my soon-to-be room and it was such a relief to see her. There were a few warm blankets, an EKG, and a bunch of blood was taken (painfully). I don’t remember much else except that once I calmed down I felt better. It took several hours to get out of there- Jei was stuck at work and I was supposed to be his ride. Rue came to see me, of course, and he, Tyler and my mother and I talked to pass the time. Some other visitors came, for which I was grateful, but I was very tired. So many times I heard, “So, what happened?”

I was very tired.
I am still very tired.
And my hip hurts.
My hip really fucking hurts.

But thank you, Tyler. Thank you, Rue. Thank you, Mother. Thank you, Jei.
I love you all dearly.
And when they said, “Are these your family members?”
I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.”

Posted in her sickness |
26 burnt buns ready to leave the oven ♥
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monochromatism spoke on May 27th, 2007 7:07 pm with the words:

oh dear! what happened?? are you all right now?

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Crow Jake spoke on May 27th, 2007 8:00 pm with the words:

eeeek, thank heavens you’re alright sweet! You’re lucky tyler was around! hugs…. well done on the survival!

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Bonamy spoke on May 27th, 2007 8:04 pm with the words:

Yes, I am all right, thank you. I am currently being tested for Syncopy, which is where your heart and your brain don’t communicate properly and it can cause you to have syncopatic episdoes (i.e. passing out).
I have more testing already scheduled, but this one was kind of more dramatic than the others because I fell on broken glass and managed to scare my roomate shitless coming home from a long day of work.

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katie spoke on May 27th, 2007 8:33 pm with the words:

i just realized i could comment here…. better late than never.
that sounds so terrifying though, love. i’m glad you’re…well, not really okay, or better, but i’m just glad.

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Bronwyn spoke on May 27th, 2007 8:40 pm with the words:

Passing out is so, so scary. I joke that one gets used to it but it’s not true. You have no idea how much I want to hug you right now! :(

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Bonamy spoke on May 27th, 2007 9:04 pm with the words:

Katie, better late than never is absolutely right. Thank you so much.

Bronwyn, it is scary, and I wish I was able to have that hug and hug you back. A vacation on your farm sounds excellent right about now.

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Slitz spoke on May 28th, 2007 1:48 am with the words:

Truly unfortunate to hear. Good to hear you’re doing okay, all things considered. Hope it’s a quick recovery.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 8:52 am with the words:

Thank you, darling. I’ll get it all figured out, I’m sure. Unfortunately the answer is probably just to slap me on some silly meds for the rest of my life.

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TJL spoke on May 28th, 2007 8:54 am with the words:

FUCK this shit ALWAYS happens when I’m too far away to do anything about it. I’m always glancing at your photos first, call me a lazy asshole if you will, so I am looking at these and going what the fuck? The FUCK.
I love you.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 8:57 am with the words:

You’re being over dramatic. But I love you too. I figured it best to post about it that way I wasn’t like- OH, by the WAY, ________.

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TJL spoke on May 28th, 2007 8:58 am with the words:

No I appreciate it otherwise I wouldn’t have known for a while.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 8:59 am with the words:

No problem?

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sememe spoke on May 28th, 2007 9:00 am with the words:

Oh no no no i’m too far on the bottom. )=
hope your doing well

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 9:01 am with the words:

I’m doing much better now, thank you. Just a bit on the sore side. Cheers from the United States!

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Ian spoke on May 28th, 2007 9:03 am with the words:

Honey I have not been around as usual. They are moving me all over the place but I am taking pictures. I’m sorry we met right as I was leaving but it’s been a fantastic five months being penpals. I read you as often as I can each day (i swear I’m not stalker) so don’t ever stop and as you always say, “Thanks for sharing.”

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 9:09 am with the words:

Of course darling. There’s no need to feel poorly. I really am all right. Hugs and kisses go out to wherever you are, Icarus.

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Shelly spoke on May 28th, 2007 11:45 am with the words:

Ahhh, I hope everything is okay! You poor thing! It must’ve been so scary! I really hope the doctor’s figure out what’s wrong and fix it SOON.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 3:56 pm with the words:

Me too. And it certainly was terrifying. I’d never ridden in an ambulence before and so many things were happening, the needles, everything. I’m really, really glad Tyler stayed with me or I probably would have had a fit and died. I definitely didn’t want to be alone riding in that thing. I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted.

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Remaeus spoke on May 28th, 2007 6:48 pm with the words:

I’m so glad you’re not hurt. I have a few things for you to read, when you get a chance. Love you.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 7:40 pm with the words:

Thank you, darling. I should be better in a few days. I haven’t been on because staring at a screen really makes my head ache. I don’t know how I’ll survive work.

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Boo spoke on May 28th, 2007 7:55 pm with the words:

Hun, it’s hard enough hearing about my dog have seizures while I’m gone. I wish I could have been at the hospital for you… I would’ve been there in a heartbeat.
Kiki and I will be home soon… we misssssss you.

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Bonamy spoke on May 28th, 2007 11:50 pm with the words:

I’m so sorry about Sophie, honey, I just heard the other day. I also hear your mum’s reading, “The Book Thief” and I just finished it yesterday. And I know you would have been there, and I really miss you too. I can’t wait to hear all about your trip. You come home soon! =)

(And you’re going to let me take your picture!)

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Ink Taylor spoke on May 28th, 2007 11:55 pm with the words:

I am also glad that you aren’t hurt, beyond the obvious. There’s more racing through my head, parts of my own experience in an ambulance, thoughts on the little bits of what I know about Sycopy, but most of all I hope for your wellness and recovery.

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Bonamy spoke on May 29th, 2007 5:27 pm with the words:

Probably the scariest parts were riding in the ambulence and right when I woke up. I completely feel for anyone who’s had to be in either situation. Again, I’m really lucky I didn’t wake up alone and that Tyler was there- and that he stayed there the whole time. After I got there and could see all the friendly faces, I definitely calmed down SIGNIFICANTLY. =)

Thanks for the warm wishes, love.

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Levitacus spoke on May 30th, 2007 1:20 am with the words:

Okay, I won’t lie. I didn’t read the whole post. But I read the parts that mattered, and saw the pictures. Hunny, I know we don’t speak a whole lot any more, and I know I am never really there for anything, but I want you to know that I am always thinking about you. I am glad that you are holding up alright, and hopefully one of these days you and I can get together and hang out. Just to have some fun. I don’t know. But always feel free to drop a line.

I love you hunny.
*huggles*

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Bonamy spoke on May 30th, 2007 7:45 am with the words:

Haha, I don’t think anybody ever really does (those that do I don’t mean to insult you!) and that’s okay. A lot of people told me they were browsing through the photos and then they started reading, which is fine. I don’t mind. What matters is they cared at all.

When you come back up we’ll hang out. =D

Thank you kindly, darling.

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