Wow. I guess the sound wasn’t working on that video and I didn’t realize it until just now.

I just wanted to say that Tom came back.

Lots of things are going on but hopefully I can post some pictures soon.

Tom and I watched “Wristcutters: A Love Story” today and we both really enjoyed it. I highly recommend it. It covered a dark concept while still carrying a light humor and message. I need to see it again, for sure.

That’s all.
Cheers, cats.

You know, typically I wouldn’t care, but very rarely do we actually make “plans”. (In fact, I can think of one other instance.) And I guess it felt like we went out of our way to find a day that would work so I could talk about some things that have been bothering me and then he sort of blew me off. I’m pretty sure this is exactly why I feel so isolated. How am I supposed to talk about things now?

Luckily I have some time to get over this before we talk again, but man. It felt really good. (That was sarcasm.) I’m wondernig now if I did or said something to cause it. Which is probably the case. Maybe I shouldn’t let it bother me so much. I probably shouldn’t.

It could also be that my heart is being a cuntrag at the moment, as well as yesterday. I went to the theatre last night knowing I wasn’t feeling well. And I shouldn’t have driven, I knew that. Midway through the film I remember thinking, “Oh, I’m going to barf.”

But I waited until the end, then promptly went into the bathroom and started vomitting. I can always tell when it’s my heart and not regular sickness just because of a) the way I feel before hand and b) it’s not food or anything, it’s like this watery filmly bluey goo. (Sorry if this was too much detail.) A funny event went sort of like this, if I remember right. I was in a stall so I’m not sure who said what:

Boozy: OMG there’s someone puking in the bathroom and it’s SOOOOO gross
Kat & Cole: …. Was it Sara?
*they all re-enter the bathroom*
Boozy: Sawa?
Me: *meekly* uuhhhhh yesss
Boozy: I didn’t know it was you!!! I would have stayed and been supportive!
Me: I puked so hard it came out my nose!
Kat: Thanks for the overshare.
Boozy: Ew. Ew.
Me: So much for being supportive!!
Me: *PUKE*
Them: EWWWWOMG

I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong. Really all I felt was falsely strong. I held on tight and closed my eyes; it was dumb, I had no sense of your size. But last night in the kitchen my grip was loose. My eyes were open. I felt your shape and heard your breathing. I felt the rise and fall of your chest.

I felt your falls, your winter snows, your gusty blow, your lava flow. I felt it all.

With limp arms I can feel most of you.

I hung around your neck independantly and my feeling of loss was overwhelmed by this new depth I don’t think I ever felt.

But I don’t know…

My nights are still cold, and I vividly remember my arm gripping around a warm fleshy waist.

–The Microphones