1.
I’ve been trying to record my dreams lately and this morning I picked up my laptop and opened the notepad document that I left open and saw only this:

isnt there more to life than this

I’m not sure what I was dreaming about (a turkey comes to mind?!). And I only vaguely remember reaching over to grab the computer. Odd.

2.
So when the furry body hopped up on the bed and plopped down next to my face I just sort of automatically started petting, still half asleep, like you do when you own cats.

Usually it’s Pumpkin or Loki, never Morn. Since he’s gotten older he likes a lot more room and he’d prefer my computer chair or “the boat”.

So a few hours later when I heard the cute wheeze I opened my eyes and saw that indeed it was Morn who had been with me the whole time with his nose against my nose. And honest to blog, in my stupor, my thought was: “I must be dying.”

And then I calmly fell back asleep.
Strangest thing.

I’d like to thank every single person who commented or emailed me about the last post. All your thoughts and advice have really helped me in how I’ll approach the situation. I’ll be sure to let you guys know how it goes (next week sometime?) if it goes at all.

Also, I didn’t know I had so many male readers?! You guys sure shocked me. =)

I know the bitch hardly goes anywhere without her purse. And now that I’ve successfully managed to knock it off the counter I can just slide right in here and wrap myself in it; she’ll be forced to either take me with her or PET ME to get me to move. I think this plan is ingenious.

Last time she managed to slip the purse out from under me but not this time. Oh, no. Not this time.

Love You More :: Racoon

So Pumpkin’s clawing at the screen in Kat’s bedroom. (Which over looks the back door.) So Kat pulls him off and shuts the window. And then he gets up there and starts making this weird purring sound at the window. Then Kat’s like, “What the hell?”

And she walks downstairs to find Morn with his face literally pressed against the glass. When she turned on the porch light there was Loki, just sitting there. She opened the door and in he ran. And then he promptly drank a shit ton of water and reunited with Pumpkin and Morn. And then we woke up Nicole and Jarren to let them know.

Fuck yeah.
The kitten’s outdoor adventures are over for now.
(And it wasn’t even Homeward Bound style)

Loki has gotten out. Kat came down because she heard this scratching sound, and there Pumpkin was squished in between the glass door and the screen. When she opened the door he came running in and she noticed the huge rip in the screen. And then we did a head count. No Loki.

So Jarren, Kat, and I just went outside calling his name and offering treats, but no sign. He knows he’s loved and will come home, assuming nothing happens to him in the mean time. But honestly, Loki is one badass kitten. If anyone can take care of himself, he can.

All we have to do now is wait.
I sound more confident than I actually feel.

Worry.
I am made of worry.

Worry about Brandon’s funeral tomorrow.
Worry about what he looked like today.
His orange make-up hands.
Worry about what secret isn’t mine anymore.
Worry about what secrets are.
Worry about Loki.
Worry, worry, worry.

I am made of worry.