This morning I woke from dreaming and just stretched, like I do every morning, but after hearing my joints crack I just stopped and pondered what it will be like for me to be old. Will my wrists start hurting first? Or my ankles? What about my hands? Will I have problems writing? And then I pondered my mortality. I don’t want to die. I am twenty years old and I am dreading every step I take toward my future. What twenty one year old lays in their bed snuggling with their cat and boyfriend thinking of dying? I should be running around dangerous, unstoppable! Ignorant of death!
But it also got me thinking that I don’t know why I’ve been neglecting to post as much content in my entries as I have been, and then well, it hit me. I need change. Something as ridiculous as a layout change. I need that constant motion-with everything in my life. If I can’t be satisfied that every day that goes by I am closer to the end- then I want to remember it- I want to be remembered- even if it is as that eccentric weirdo on the internet.
And so I cut my hair, in a desperate attempt to resemble someone admirable and glamorous- someone remembered - Like Audrey Hepburn.
(Just kidding: it’s a wig. I had you fooled though, didn’t I?!)
Jezuz, give me a fuckin heart attack.