I wanted to comment before you delete the last paragraph, but I’m at a loss for words.

That picture is incredibly vivid though.

And I’m sorry people email you about the way you live.

The picture was taken by my sister, and is unprocessed. Which I think is the shit.

And I’m sorry people email you about the way you live.

Yeah, I’m sorry too.

People with religious conviction fascinate me. I respect them for having faith, but when they don’t respect people of different faiths or of no faith, than it gets ridiculous. I don’t understand a “God” that would bother caring about who lives with who when, or who can “marry” who. Ugh, the whole anti-gay marriage issue makes me so mad! Don’t they realize that marriage is a man-made issue in the first place!, if there is a God, I doubt he gives a crap! I really wish that religious/societal issues that should never even be put into the political arena in the first place, have become such a huge issue, (abortion, gay marriage, etc.) sorry for the rant. :P

I love rants, so it’s totally okay. Though surprisingly enough (or as most people tell me) I’m pro-life, not pro-choice. But yeah, I get what you mean.

I want to think that if God saw me he could see that I try and I love people and I try to be kind to my neighbor and I don’t covet his wife (or husband) and I don’t murder and I try and try to be the best person I can be. But I happen to think everyone is beautiful, boys or girls. So why can’t that be okay?

Abby H. said:
if there is a God, I doubt he gives a crap!

I completely agree with this. It has always seemed to me that if there is a being that is so supreme and so powerful that s/he was able to create everything we know, wouldn’t s/he have better things to worry about than who marries (or sleeps with) who?

And Sara, *hugs* I don’t want to say too much, in case you do opt to edit it, but remember that she knows. Right next to the feelings you’re describing there, is the knowledge that you’re sorry and still love her.

I suppose, maybe, they mean well? Aw, eff, no. There really isn’t an excuse for that sort of unsolicited advice.

I’ve been thinking about an old best friend, lately, too. Our situation was entirely different from yours, I’m certain. She moved while we were in middle school after her parents divorced. But she was always a non-conformist, and in middle school, being around her didn’t reflect well on my popularity, so I pushed her away. She was terribly oblivious to whatever anyone thought of her, but I feel awful for taking advantage of that, gossiping and playing tricks, and whatever stupid things middle school girls do. Any ole way, she’s now one of the more incredibly interesting people I’ve ever known, at least from what I’ve heard. I’m so ashamed of it, really, I can barely bring myself to leave this comment.

I appreciate how personal and revealing this entry is and I feel like I know you that much more from reading it.
I can’t believe people care enough to waste their time criticizing how you live your life. Screw em!

Elizabeth, thank you so much for sharing.

She moved while we were in middle school after her parents divorced.

This is exactly what I did. =(

About your story. I want to thank you for sharing such a personal thing with me. I think she would love to hear from you. Kids do awful things to each other (myself included), especially girls. What’s good, and you have to know this, is that you feel differently now. You understand what you’ve done (and we do too) and we regret what we did. But that makes us able to change and be better people.

I want to share something I’m ashamed of too, because you were so open with me:

When I was that age, people looked up to me. I wasn’t in the “popular” crowd, but we had our own little group. There was this girl who liked me, idolized me, and paid someone a dollar to trip me on the way in from recess. I was so infuriated I told her she could join our group if she flew. We stood around in circle around her laughing while she flapped her arms and said, “I believe.” over and over.

I saw her years and years later with her friend in the mall. She called out to me and when I turned around I thought for sure this was karma kicking me in the ass, giving me the perfect opportunity to apologize. She hugged me and said, “This was a good friend of mine from middle school.”

She didn’t even fucking remember, and it had haunted me for years. Now that is karma. That is exactly what I deserved. She’s beautiful and happy and wonderful now. And yes, I did apologize when I saw her on her own a few years after the mall encounter. (She still didn’t remember.) I said, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you back then. I was a fucked up kid, even though that’s no excuse.”

And she said, “What do you mean? You were the only person that liked me.”

And I just stood there. I felt like such an ass.

Jenna, I didn’t see your comment until after I had already commented. Thank you for commenting!

I can see where they’re coming from, kind of. If I believed that someone would spend an eternity in agony I would try my damnedest to stop them, too. Though I’m pretty sure I’d do it in a different way. =D

that sucks that people tell you you’re going to hell. it’s not like that here. i’m glad i live where i do because i think i’d go crazy if i heard that on a regular basis. mike’s best friend is a born-again and he “prays for us” every day, but on the whole people here aren’t really fazed by young couples living together unmarried. this is also one of the handful of countries that recognizes gay marriage. it’s strange to be so close to your country and yet in some ways be on a totally different planet. i mean, a lot of people from older generations just sort of shake their heads at how things have changed, but they only complain about it amongst themselves. not many people go around saying “you’re going to hell”.

i’m sorry about your best friend. i’ve done a lot of the same thing. i moved away for university and left a very good friend behind. i don’t even know him anymore and we barely talk. after i graduated university, i moved away again and left behind another wonderful group of friends. i miss them all every day. i try my best to keep in touch, but i’m finding that lately my best doesn’t amount to a whole lot. sometimes life just gets in the way. i just keep hoping that at some point life will reunite me with the people i cherish.

Yeah, it’s the internet, actually. I don’t think anyone’s ever told me I’m going to Hell to my face. (If so I don’t remember.) I wish I lived in Canada. Toronto is like, the best place ever.

Jei just isn’t ready to pack up and hit the road, though.

toronto? really? that’s only an hour from me! i actually hate toronto. i mean, nice place to visit, but i SO wouldn’t want to live there. but then again, i’m a small town girl.

people tell you over the internet? still… wow. that seems almost cowardly to me. like breaking up with someone over the internet, where they don’t have to see first hand what the comments do to the other person. ugh.

Yeah, breaking up over the phone or the internet is lame. Agreed. But taking someone out to dinner and breaking up with them there is lame too. There just is never a good way to break up with someone. Ever. It will hurt no matter how you do it.

Yeah. Usually I don’t mind, but lately it’s just been almost a constant thing. I had someone message me and say, “I love your pictures, but I don’t agree with the ones of you and your boyfriend laying in your bed.”

To which I say, “Well, it’s actually our bed. We sleep in it. Together.”

And then they proceed to tell me it’s a sinful lifestyle and I shouldn’t be posting it on the internet for impressionable young kids to see. (I.E. Their children.)

Like, wtf?

Wow… I just don’t even know where to begin expressing my anger over evangelicals. Why do they think that fear and guilt will work on everyone? On what principles do they base their little rules like “no sex until after marriage”? What is wrong with two people celebrating their commitment and love? Why does it always have to be by the book?

I’m really sorry to hear about you and your best friend… sometimes moving on is difficult, but you’re a strong girl, and you have people who support you.

just wanted to say you look warm bundled up : )

Man, and to think, this whole time I’ve been in the midst of such a sinner. I’m very disappointed in you? For this…crime against humanity, I guess. Point is, you’re a sinner.

People actually tell you that the way you live is a disgrace? What.The.Hell? That doesn’t make any sense! I’m sorry you put up with these things, that’s not cool, at all.

Don’t listen to them, really. Who the hell cares what other people think.

Love<3
xx

Catherine,
I completely know what you mean. Having read the Bible, I can understand where some of their believes come from, and sometimes I understand why they have them. I respect that they have them. But I do not, and I wish that they would just respect that.

Also, it’s not like I don’t see and still talk to this friend. We still live in the same city and occasionally hang out together. I just feel sometimes like we both feel we lost something irreplaceable and it’s hard to get it back.

Ben,
I was pretty warm, but it got really cold out there really fast!

Slitz,
I’m a sinner, you’re a sinner. That makes us friends, right?

Diana,
Unfortunately, yes. I’ve had someone tell me (type to me), “and here I thought you were Christian. [That's] such a disgrace.”

PS: Pumpkin queen, I am very much a city girl. I don’t live in a city like Toronto now, it’s much smaller, but I love being able to walk pretty much anywhere I need to go or bike. =D

Hey, wow, I can’t believe you went for a walk. . .thats a bit crazy. . I had a snow drift on my car all the way up to my bum-ollie-o. Toronto, YES, we should go, like maybe the four of us, or something, it would be awesome!!! I’ve been wanting to go for awhile. . .^^

I have to meet some people if it happens, Tom and Bronwyn to name a few! And we must visit China Town…..!!! KOGEPAN.

I can’t believe that people actually email you to tell you that crap about the way you live your life! How strange!

Also, your eyes are pretty! :)

By the way, I was wondering, do you get some sort of notice when someone replies to one of your posts? I was just wondering because I tried to catch up here today and left a lot of replies on old entries and this is the one place where I don’t get some sort of notice telling me when you reply and I always have a hard time remembering to check back to see if you said anything. (and sorry for the overload of commenting I did here today!)

No, that’s all right, I love comments! I don’t believe Wordpress has that on it’s own but I will certainly look for a plugin to add! That’s a great idea. =D

I’m sorry that that had to happen to you Sara. My main belief in life is respect. I believe we should all respect each other’s beliefs and ways of life. I’m a committed Christian, but I am totally for people making their own choices. Being a drama nerd, some of my best friends are gay and I love them to no end! And I don’t think life needs to be set in stone, controlled by rules. I think it’s great that we’re able to make a choice about things like marriage and living with someone and anything of the sorts. That’s why I’m so appreciative of the fact that I don’t live in the early 20th Century (I’m studying a book in english now that’s set in 1901) where women weren’t able to make a choice - if they weren’t married they were considered an old maid and were socially avoided. I hate that! I spend most of english fuming over the way women were treated in those days…

Anyway, I’m sorry that I ranted - and I’m sorry that you even had to write this post! I think you’re so lucky to have found someone that you love and want to be with - and that’s all that matters!!!!

(And I miss my old best friend too)

Michelle,
I really appreciate that you took the time to write a comment for me! That wouldn’t happen to be any Jane Austin book, would it? XD Reading those kind of books also did make me a little sad, too, but overall proud for where women are now.

Thanks again for commenting!

I hope you get this, even though I’m replying very late.

I feel very sorry, and sympathetic, about the situation that has occured to you, and think of stirred memories of my own when I read this. My own mother (a devout Christian) took a very long time to accept the fact that I was living with my boyfriend (at the time), and for months ignored it completely, and would not even acknowledge it. Other than that, ever since I finally decided to be brave enough to admit and tell people that I did not believe in the narrow minded belief systems and prejudices of my (former residence in a) small town/christian school/family I have had one of two reactions: either to be completely ignored or rarely acknowledged, my own life choices made out like they don’t exist, or to be heckled. Thankfully the latter does not occur often, basically because people are usually to chicken-shit to have a go at me, but when it does, its so upsetting. I’m a hardcore left-wing girl at heart (though, like you I suprise people by being quite pro-life!) and it bothers me to see people passing such judgements on others, and myself.

I mean, if they are REALLY following the bible anyway, isn’t it supposed to go “he who is without sin cast the first stone”?

I hope you can take some kind of solace in the fact that they are probably only giving you grief for a feeling of their own self importance and self righteousness, and to distract themselves form the fact that they are so miserable living life in a world of rules and regulations that are ridiculous.

Sorry, long rant, but a bit of a major thing of mine.

xx